


Pools of regret

by SaltyYagi



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Not technically major character death bc Tommy is still there as a ghost, Positive ending tho, a lot of crying, they are platonic soulmates your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:48:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28108824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltyYagi/pseuds/SaltyYagi
Summary: “I shouldn’t have left him, he didn’t deserve this,” Tubbo muttered through beginning sobs “I miss him so much.” He brought the compass to lay in both his hands as he brought it to his chest, his knees feeling weak as he fell to the ground.Loud cries filled the small space as the teen let his sadness and sorrow rip through him like a flood that had been suppressed for too long.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 9
Kudos: 172





	Pools of regret

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before the 15th (aka RacoonInnit arc’s beginning)  
> So here’s some still depressing Tommy&Tubbo content.

He hadn’t seen him, of course he hadn’t, he was dead.

The thought it still haunted him, haunted him as the first president haunted New L’Manberg.

But even then Wilbur came back, or rather Ghostbur did, but none the less he was able to see the man’s face again, see his tousled hair, his old yellow sweater and hear his rare laughter.

That would happen to.. to  _ him _ as well right? He had to hope he needed hope or else he would break under the crushing reality upon his already shaking back.

But then again, Schlatt hadn’t returned, he hadn’t come back to haunt the members of his old nation, he seemed gone for good, and he wasent sure if it scared him or pleased him.

As Tubbo sailed towards Logsted he felt anxiousness well up in him,  _ he _ hadn’t come back like Ghostbur, that haunting death message of lava and fire from days ago stil branded in his mind.

He exited his boat and stood on the windy shore of his best friend’s land… his home?

The president’s hair was a mess, as was his suit. The last few days had been anything but kind to him, thoughts and fears swirling in his head as he had walked the length of his land several times in search for a new ghost, hoping he would return back to his first home.

But he had not.

No one had seen him _ ,  _ he even asked Ghostbur, but it was no good.

Though, it was the grey familiar that had given him the idea to visit Logsted

_ Ghostbur smiled as his echoing voice came out “Oh, you’re looking for Tommy? Well I’m sure he is at home!” Tubbo grimaced “No Ghostbur he’s not, I’ve walked my land several times and he is nowhere,” tears stung in the back of his eyes to be let out “I think he might be gone… like Schlatt.” _

_ The kind apparition fiddled with his bright sleeves for a moment “Well I’m not sure, why you’re so sad but do you want some blue? It always helped Tommy! I… I think, I don’t quite remember well.” the teenager wrung his badly tied tie from his neck and threw it to the wodden floors “I don’t want any goddamn blue, I want my friend! I need him! I miss him! I-I left him… I left him of a sad piece of earth thousand of blocks away, I never visited him,” the tears finally spilled out “I was too wrapped up in this job I forgot him, I ignored him, even as people told me we were allowed to visit and that he didn’t look good.” _

_ Tubbo sniffled as he dried his nose on his sleeve, tears still falling on the ground below. _

_ Ghostbur seemed taken aback by the sudden outburst “W-Well if you’re really having trouble finding Tommy maybe you should visit his vacation home, I built a sweet tent and house for him, I’m sure he’s just taking a holiday!” A small smile on his lips trying to cheer up the crying teenager in front of him. _

_ He continued “I have a boat down by the docks, you know Niki’s bakery? You can borrow my boat, and if you’re really having trouble finding Tommy, you still have the compass I made you.”  _

_ Tubbo reaches his shaking hand to the inner pocket of his suit, had he really forgotten? How could he? The purple glowing compass found his hand as he flicked it open, the engraving looking back at him, with spite almost “Your Tommy.” _

_ The red arrow pointed towards, Tubbo seemed to think for a moment, yeah it was Logsted. _

_ He looked to the ghost “Thank you, and also I’m sorry.” Ghostbur waved his grey hand “Oh no trouble I’m glad to help.” Tubbo faulted for a moment, his hand with the compass shaking for a moment “No I’m really sorry, about it all.” His voice was small. _

_ The familiar just gave him another smile as he began to wander back towards his sewer home again. _

_ Tubbo began his short walk to the docks. _

Once again he flicked open his compass, it’s arrow pointing him to the white tent he saw in the distance.

He know it was a lodestone compass, so if Tommy was not in Logsted, he really had no idea how to find him.

He looked to his surroundings as he walked the messy attempt at a path, fire pillars made of netherrack, a big cross to his left, as well as a broken portal by a big pond a little farther out.

The white tent came up on his right, the wool of the exterior looking dirty and worn from the weather.

Tubbo entered, there was an unmade bed to his right, and an enderchest to his right, he sat on the best and looked up, wait  _ what _ … The Queen? Tubbo took a moment for himself to smile, god I really missed his friend.

He left the tent opening towards the sea as he saw a music box, Tubbo lifted a hesitant hand towards it almost touching it, the hand retracted.

_ Don’t think you deserve to come a touch his things and act all sad, you’re the one who exiled him. _

The teenager took a deep breath as he looked to the Christmas tree, Tommy never even got to see the one back in L’Manberg, would a simple gesture as that have changed what happened? He never even tried to discuss with Dream a simple visit for Tommy, just an hour? A talk? One hug? What could he have done?

He continued down the dirt path to a beach area, as he approached he saw a long dinner table, a parasol and towels laid out.

This seemed way too big for one person, even if Ghostbur and Dream was here from time to time, this seems like a place for a bigger gathering, a party area maybe?

Did Tommy plan to hold a party? He never got any word about it,why go through the trouble of making a party area if he was gonna do what he did.

It didn’t make sense, none of it did.

As Tubbo began to walk back he remembered the log area, Ghostbur had talked about a house he had built for Tommy, with the last drops of hope in his heart he turned the corner of the old wooden walls.

The first thing he noticed was a mooshroom, it’s dark eyes looking at him with little interest, Tubbo approached it and looked at its name tag “Mushroom Henry” huh.

Despite how weird it felt, Tubbo let his arms encircle the neck of the animal in a kind of hug “Thank you for taking care of him.” This might have been one of his only food sources, another rock of guilt buried itself in the belly of the boy.

Turning around he saw a pile of barrels, some empty, some with mix-matched contents of logs, worn tools and other nick nacks.

There was a blue tent to the right, but before he turned to it he spotted the prime log, he had heard members of L’Manberg who had briefly been here talk about it with laughter.

But all it did was turn Tubbo’s mood more sour, all the info he knew of this place was through people who had actually visited the exiled teen, this was the first time he had properly visited, when Tommy was really not even  _ here _ anymore.

_ What kind of a best friend am I? _

His gaze went to the small home in front of him, if Tommy was really here, this would be the last place he could be.

The wooden door creaked as he pushed it open, walking in he took in his surroundings. Barrels, cauldron with water, furnace and a smoker. He looked to the right and saw a picture.

Tubbo stepped further in and looked to the picture again, oh.

Before him was an image of New L’Manburg, he finally broke.

“I shouldn’t have left him, he didn’t deserve this,” Tubbo muttered through beginning sobs “I miss him so much.” He brought the compass to lay in both his hands as he brought it to his chest, his knees feeling weak as he fell to the ground.

Loud cries filled the small space as the teen let his sadness and sorrow rip through him like a flood that had been suppressed for too long.

Time ticked by as the sun went down and the sound of bugs outside died down, Tubbos throat felt raw as he muttered a few pleading words.

“Please come back to me, I need you.”

No answer. 

_ Of course. _

Shaking legs rose from the hard wooden floor as the boy sniffed a few times, drying his nose on his sleeve for the second time that day,  _ eugh _ .

He looked at the compass on his hands, letting his fingers go over the engraving taking in every detail.

The boy knew he looked a mess but didn’t care anymore as he left the home with his messy suit and tear tracked face.

Walking out from the wooden walls Tubbo looked at the rowboat in front of him, not finding much energy to row the distance back and in turn turned his eyes to the portal a few steps away.

Entering the The Nether left him with a sour taste in his mouth, remembering where his friend had done what he did.

But nonetheless he wanted to leave Logsted so he took to the portal’s swirling entrance.

The heat was instant as he entered, lava and fire warming him up from the cold outdoors he came from.

Taking a moment orientate himself he spotted the cobblestone path, the sight tugged at his heart.

_ Tommy’s favorite block _

Making his way to the path he tried not to look down at the lava, it gave him a newfound anxiety and his heart beat faster at the thought of the swirling pools of hot death.

Tubbo’s hand still grasped the compass tightly, the other holding a sword in case of a fight. As he walked his eyes momentarily went to the upper parts of The Nether, in search of any ghasts.

Noticing some movement he stopped, was it a ghast? Or maybe one of those levitating glitched striders Fundy has talked about.

The grip on his sword tightened as he looked closer, what  _ is  _ that?

Some red and white thing floated around many blocks high above him, it was definitely not a ghast nor a glitched strider.

The red and white colors gave him hope he was too scared to entertain, but he needed to know, he  _ needed  _ this.

Taking a deep breath Tubbo yelled “Tommy?!”

The white and red mixed blob seemed to stop its slow flying around at the sound of the yell, Tubbo’s heart started to beat faster and faster.

The blob seemed to have noticed him as it floated closer and closer and… There he was…

It was Tommy! It was really him

He looked different, but so had Ghostbur.

Tommy’s eyes no longer had its familiar blue, the color and whites were now two black orbs, and from them flowed small tear like streams of lava like substance.

His clothes were singed (as was his hair) holes and dirt littered his clothes, his hands and neck having a black, soot like substance coating them.

Around his neck on a thin chain hung his compass, looking dented and dirty.

Tubbo could feel his eyes sting and water again but he didn’t care, his friend was really there, he wasn't gone, he wasn't gone like Schlatt!

He felt his voice shake as he spoke again “Tommy you’re here, you’re really here.”

The apparition in front of him paused for a second before he began “Sorry mate, but I’m not really sure who you are.” The voice sounded like Tommy but it had the same echoey feel Ghostbur had as well.

Tubbo faltered at the words and dropped his sword to the cobble.

“W-What do you mean, I’m Tubbo, you know me,” Tommy turned his head to the side and fiddled with his soot covered hands “Tommy come on, please…” the brown haired boy pleaded.

The ghost said nothing for a moment but then turned his head to the crying teen in front of him “Sorry, you might have the wrong guy, I’m not even sure if I’m Tommy, so if you’re looking for a Tommy, you might need to check somewhere else.” The ghost said, his voice small and lacking any resemblance to how Tommy used to bursting with energy at every moment.

His chest ached as he watched the ghost of his best friend slowly levitate away from him.  _ No! He couldn’t lose him again.  _

Tubbo ran along the cobblestone path, closer to Tommy forgetting his sword. As he came closer he yelled again for the soot covered apparition using all his strength, he needed to hold on to him, don’t let go,  **do not let him go.**

The familiar turned at the sudden yelling again, his black eyes taking in the sight of the sweaty, crying teen teen in front of him. Wiping his soot covered hands on his already dirty shirt in nervousness.

_ Does he really know me? I don’t even know me... _

Tubbo let out a few tired breaths trying to regain his composure again before looking at his ghostly friend, determination filling him more and more.

“Tommy, you’re TommyInnit! You’re my best friend in the whole world, we fought wars together, we laughed on the bench, you showed me your music and I showed you my bees!” A small laugh escaped him but he hesitated for a second seeing the confused expression on Tommy’s face “We have know each other for years, you have told me everything and I have told you everything, I know you, and you… you know me, you have to still know me, even just a bit?” He knew he looked a crazy mess, and if Tommy really didn’t know him anymore why would he listen to some rambling dirty kid that keeps yelling at him.

Ghostbur forgot things too and it still hasn't come back, is Tommy going to forget forever?

_ Was there no way for him to spark any memory? _

Tubbo looked at his friend with pleading eyes, he was his friend, his comrade, his brother… his Tomm- _ wait _

His eyes went from the lava stained face to his chest where the compass hung, his Tommy, his Tommy!

Wringing his dirty hands again the ghost looked to the lava below again “Sorry, I really do think you might have the wrong person…”  _ this was a waste of time _

“No wait! Your-your compass, around your neck, it has my name in it! A friend of our gave us matching compasses so we could always find each other, pointing to our homes,” Tubbo opened his compass with shaking hands as he showed his friend the engraving “Your Tommy, that’s you, you’re my Tommy, my best friend in the whole world.”

The ghost looked at the compass, eyebrows creasing as he examined it.

_ It somehow felt familiar _

Looking down on his singed shirt he found a compass of his own hanging on a chain.

He dried some lava off his face as it dripped down his shirt and on the compass, but it did not damage it.

Looking at the shaking teen in front of him he felt sympathy, he seemed so earnest he felt it hard not to believe him.

His gaze went back to the compass around his neck again, bringing the chain over his head and to his hand.

The small flames that hung onto the tips of some of his hair sparked a bit more at his surprising nervousness.

He opened the compass to a cracked glass with a light green needle under it, and an engraving on the inside of the lid, covered in soot and scratched to hell but still the words were visible.

_ “Your Tubbo.” _

His throat felt tight as he muttered the words, more lava poured from his eyes but it felt different from normal.

His eyes stung, his chest hurt and he found it hard to even talk.

_ What is this? _

The other teen smiled, relief filling his body.

Reaching his hand forward to the lava stained boy “That’s me, I’m your Tubbo,” more tears staining his already wet face “I’ve always been your Tubbo, and you’re my Tommy.”

Tommy looked at his unoccupied hand, it was dirty and his fingers was slightly see through but he still reached it forwards to the boy in front of him.

As he touched the skin of the crying boy he suddenly felt warm, a warmness starting at his fingertips and trailing into his body, filling his chest with a familiar feeling.

He hadn’t even realized he was cold.

“I… I’m Tommy?” He asked anxiously.

  
Tubbo smiled again and tightened the hold on the ghostly hand “You always have been.”

Tommy let the words sink into him for a moment as a rare small smile creeped upon his lips, he tightened his hold on the hand as well.

“I’m Tommy.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope u enjoyed.  
> Idk if I’ll make maybe a part 2 where Tubbo takes Tommy to L’Manberg to rediscover his home.
> 
> Pls comment ur thoughts or tell me on twitter @SaltyYagi ^^


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